So I have to rant. Big woop.

So earlier in the semester, I made the complete sucker punch decision to drop everything and pursue art. So I gave up trying to do mechanical engineering, econ, and all the boring stuff for something I really loved growing up. More of when I was a kid though, my parents highly discouraged it because I was pretty good when I was younger and they thought it would be a problem, but that's another story. So I've made the choice to pursue art fully, and probably do a little music on the side, though it's not really as huge a priority as it used to be in my life. I still love it as much as I do art though.
And in the past couple months since of made the choice, I've gone through and incredible load of ups and downs. There are times when I do renderings very well and I feel awesome. But there are times when I don't do them so well, and I feel crappy because I know I can do better. Along with getting discouraged by the family, especially my mother. Who always brings out the, "why can't you become a nurse like your two brothers" speech. It's very discouraging, especially because she does this knowing how much all this stuff means to me. And I told her I was doing art, and she said it was okay, now she seems to enjoy putting me down for it, and saying crap like that. Oh well, that's how it's always been, my two brothers get Toaster Strudels, and I get burnt toast.
There needs to be away to build confidence in what I do. Especially since it seems I'm getting such a late start on this art thing. My friends Andrew Seto, and Christine seem to be a big help in motivation. By seeing what Andrew can do, inspires me to be better. Christine's ability to do things with different mediums by trying really hard. And other people. To do that, I need to break these horrible habits that I have in being lazy and watching television when I know I can be practicing.
I wondering if I can be good enough to do this. I need to make myself better. I need to force myself to be better than the people I encounter. It's not really an option anyways.
My art teacher Stan said, "there are a million people going to do the same thing you are, so why be average?" That's very true.


Man that was stupid emo rant. Wellp. Time to get on it.